One of the toughest areas of adjustment for me in our new life here has been accepting ‘good enough’. It doesn’t come naturally. I have always been an all or nothing sort of woman, do it and do it to your utmost, get it spot on. I’ve also always moved on pretty quick. In my pre kids career I was a serial job hopped with a CV spanning several pages. I thrived on conquering a job, putting things right, setting up systems, assembling a team and then moving on. I never really stuck with anything.
I’m pretty loyal and the relationships which matter to me are incredibly important and I have always given them my everything – hence close friends of many years, huge family ties, a rock solid marriage and an excellent relationship with Davies and Scarlett – if something is worth doing then I want to do it right. 100%. I really struggle with not being a reliable dependable sister, aunt, sister in law, friend, daughter these days. I am not there, not physically there and often by virtue of poor communication or a focus elsewhere I am not even very good at being at the other end of a phone or email. I find that hard. I would never have anticipated not being around to celebrate birthdays, share tough times, offer a celebratory kiss or comforting hug. The distance of 600 miles from my family is magnified by the distance between the life I live now and the lives they remain in.
Yet here on Rum mediocrity is often the name of the game. ‘Good enough’, ‘best we can do’, ‘all we can manage’ ‘that’ll do’. It’s an easy bubble to get sucked in to, a mantra that can quickly become your own unless you resist. There are always excuses, justifications, reasons, explanations for why Rum is not the very best possible version of itself it could be. Just now I am looking at the areas in which I have accepted mediocrity in my efforts knowing full well that I could do better, or if I couldn’t then I owe it to myself and to others to step away and do nothing rather than not doing it to my very best. Tough choices, hard lines, the right decision for me anyway.
I’m choosing the really important things this week and committing only to doing them and doing them properly, to the best of my ability, making myself proud. That is better than covering all bases with a skimmed layer of little substance. It means accepting some things won’t happen at all but that is fine.
Mediocrity. Not for me, thank you.